Wednesday, August 18, 2010

Out With The Old

I spent a good part of the afternoon yesterday flipping through my old journals; I stumbled upon them when I was cleaning out the drawers in my bedroom.

While I read page after page of teen and young adult angst, I thought, "How horrified would I be if someone actually read this stuff?"

" What if I die tomorrow (God forbid, knock on wood, and all that good stuff) and my hubby and kids clean out my drawers and find these journals full of self-deprecating and embarrassing anecdotes?"


After some consideration, I decided I would give the journals one final read-through before sending them to a fiery grave in a backyard bonfire. I now have a bag of my torn-to-shreds past waiting to be torched. It wasn't easy letting go, and I tried many times before, but somehow today it just felt right to finally say good-bye and leave the past in the past for good. I pulled out a few pages that I thought were worth keeping - poems, big moments like getting engaged and first pregnancy - but anything before that was just too mortifying. I'll store them in a memory box for my kids to find when I'm gone.

I has a blast reading my old journals and remembering the people, places and issues I dealt with in my youth. Every crush, every fight with mom, every boring job, every school friendship - all of those experiences shaped me into the woman I am today. I'm a completely different person now - an adult ((shudder)), a wife, a mom. I look forward to blogging about my life as it is now. It's time to move on.

2 comments:

  1. I still have all of my old journals, and boxes of letters from high school...I always thought, like you, that they would make for fun reading one day for my kids and grandchildren. Looking forward to reading all about your current life here!

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  2. HAHAHAHAHAHAHA I about died when I read this - I had been hauling those old journals from state to state and finally after this last move got rid of them all - every godawful poem about my twisted heart and blah blah blah sob story and "does he like me like I like him?" entry... gone. It was SO liberating. And terrifying... will my daughters write that kind of crap in their teens? Yikes!

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